Attacks your memory and perception
I never said that
They flatly deny words you both know were spoken.
The first tell
You feel pressed for proof. That feeling arrives before you can name the move.
What it sounds like
A seller promised free delivery. At pickup he says: I never said that.
Say back
You did, on Tuesday. I'll go by what was promised.
If they push
Prove it.
Here's your message from Tuesday.
How this family is disarmed
Hold to the record. Refuse to debate your own experience.
Paid
See it in dating and at work
Context packs show this tactic in the settings where it does the most damage, and let you drill it against a timer.
Related tactics
- GaslightingThey insist that what you saw or heard didn't happen, until you doubt yourself.
- DARVOConfronted, they deny it, attack you, and claim to be the victim.
- Rewriting historyThey retell past events in a version that favours them.
- Moving the goalpostsYou meet the condition they set, and they set a new one.