Free for everyone, always
When winning the argument isn't the point
Mindfend teaches you to answer bad-faith moves. Some situations call for leaving instead. If any of these describe yours, put the comebacks down and get support.
Signs this is bigger than an argument
- You're afraid of how they'll react when you disagree.
- They control your money, your phone, or who you're allowed to see.
- They've threatened to hurt you, themselves, your children or your pets.
- You've stopped seeing friends and family to keep the peace.
- You change what you say and do to avoid setting them off.
What to do instead of arguing
- Don't try to win. With someone who may hurt you, a sharp reply can raise the risk. Keep answers short and neutral, and leave the room if you can.
- Tell one person you trust what's been happening, in plain words.
- Talk to a support line. They help you think through options and plan for safety, whether or not you're ready to leave.
- If you're in danger right now, call 911 or your local emergency number.
Where to get help
- Canada: find a shelter or helpline near you at sheltersafe.ca. The federal list of crisis lines by province is at canada.ca.
- United States: National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, or chat at thehotline.org.
- United Kingdom: National Domestic Abuse Helpline, 0808 2000 247.
- If someone threatens to hurt themselves, take it seriously and call emergency services, or call or text 988 in the US and Canada. You are not their only lifeline, and calling for help is the right response.
If someone checks your phone or computer, use a device they can't access, and clear this page from your history.