Attacks your memory and perception
Minimizing
They shrink what happened so your reaction looks too big.
The first tell
You feel oversensitive. That feeling arrives before you can name the move.
What it sounds like
A neighbour damaged your fence. He says: It's a scratch. You're making a big deal of nothing.
Say back
It matters to me, and that's enough reason to fix it.
If they push
Other people wouldn't even notice.
I noticed. Here's the repair quote.
How this family is disarmed
Hold to the record. Refuse to debate your own experience.
Paid
See it in dating and at work
Context packs show this tactic in the settings where it does the most damage, and let you drill it against a timer.
Related tactics
- GaslightingThey insist that what you saw or heard didn't happen, until you doubt yourself.
- DARVOConfronted, they deny it, attack you, and claim to be the victim.
- Rewriting historyThey retell past events in a version that favours them.
- Moving the goalpostsYou meet the condition they set, and they set a new one.