Attacks your logic
Whataboutism
They answer a criticism by pointing at something else.
The first tell
You feel sidetracked. That feeling arrives before you can name the move.
What it sounds like
You raise a missed payment. They say: What about the time you forgot my birthday?
Say back
We can talk about that next. Right now I'm asking about the payment.
If they push
Typical. You never want to talk about your mistakes.
I will, right after this one. What happened with the payment?
How this family is disarmed
Restate the real claim, add the missing options, or ask for the missing step.
Paid
See it in dating and at work
Context packs show this tactic in the settings where it does the most damage, and let you drill it against a timer.