Attacks your feelings and bonds
Hot and cold
Warmth and coldness alternate without reason, so you keep trying to earn the warm version back.
The first tell
You feel hooked. That feeling arrives before you can name the move.
What it sounds like
A friend is adoring one week and distant the next, with no explanation, for months.
Say back
I've noticed it swings. I can't keep guessing.
If they push
You're imagining it. I'm the same as always.
Maybe. I'm going to match the effort I get.
How this family is disarmed
Weigh actions over words and keep your own pace.
Paid
See it in dating and at work
Context packs show this tactic in the settings where it does the most damage, and let you drill it against a timer.
Related tactics
- Love bombingIntense affection arrives very fast, before trust has had time to form.
- Guilt-trippingThey make you feel like a bad person for saying no.
- NeggingA put-down dressed as a compliment, meant to make you seek their approval.
- Future fakingBig promises about later are used to get what they want now.